Toenail Pizza

Toenail Pizza Face

Toenail Pizza's presumed true appearance

Biographical information
Titles Master of Disguise, The Assassin
Birth 13 August 1964
Weapons Knife, bombs, ninja blade, baseball bat
Physical description
Species Human
Gender Male
Height 1.82m
Eye color Blue
Hair color Black
Skin color Tan
Chronological and political information

Toenail Pizza, born on August 13th, 1964, is an assassin who has been interested in mad dog stuff for over 40 years. He was raised by Harrybo's grandad after his father left him in front of the Harrybo Company's secret base (at the time) inside of a basket filled with diarrhea to send the word, "I shall join you, your majestic shittiness". How he got his name is currently unknown.

Early LifeEdit

Toenail Pizza was born on the 13th of August, 1964. Before his birth, his father was very ill. His father was an assassin and part of The Harrybo Company, but contracted an illness after Harold Rosen left a radioactive bomb in front of Toenail Pizza's father after he had a fierce duel with him. The radioactive bomb only affected TP's father (and his son, Toenail Pizza, was lucky enough not to have received any bad stuff from that himself), after which he decided for himself that he needed somebody to follow in his footsteps, as his death could not be avoided. A few hours later after he discovered having such an illness, he took a random prostitute off the streets to create a son for himself who eventually became Toenail Pizza - real name unknown, even whether he actually had a real name or not is unknown.

After TP's birth, his father killed his mother and left Toenail Pizza in a basket full of "homemade" diarrhea in front of the secret base of The Harrybo Company. This was along with a letter, telling Harrybo's grandad to take him as his new apprentice to replace his father, who died 3 weeks after Toenail Pizza's birth, which is nearly 10 months after contracting the disease.


1970s: Edit

In 1972, Toenail Pizza (only eight years old at the time) visited Harold and Connie Rosen in prison exactly three weeks after their incarcaration. He asked for a bag of plums with some clitsauce, then he would break them out in exchange. Harold Rosen, impatient at the time, asked TP to break him and Connie out first. Toenail Pizza killed a security guard, blew up the prison door, and gave Harold and Connie weapons to help them fight off the remaining guards. Toenail Pizza never recieved his bag of plums with clitsauce.

Despite this setback, TP knew that he would encounter Harold and Connie Rosen again.

Toenail Pizza FULL

Toenail Pizza from 2008 and onwards (normal attire)

2000s: Edit

In January of 2009, Toenail Pizza visited Michael Rosen in prison, where the latter had been arrested for attempted theft of a ship at Hemel Hempstead Harbor. Toenail Pizza made Rosen the same offer he had made 37 years previously: if Toenail Pizza were to break Michael out, Rosen would have to give him a bag of plums with clitsauce. After killing security guards, TP blew up Michael's cell, freeing him. Toenail Pizza asked for a bag of plums with clitsauce shortly after. Rather than give his plums away, Michael Rosen castrated TP within the prison corridor.

Days later, in February 2009, Toenail Pizza assumed the identity of Richard, the well-armed, cybernetically-enhanced zombie. Michael, knowing something seemed off about Richard, ordered him killed at the Red Sea. The man known as "Richard" refused, before arming himself with his weapons and attacking the HMS Rosen Crew. After consistently failing, Toenail Pizza called in David Alexander, his gang, and hundreds of robot pirates for backup.

Later, after the Battle of the Red Sea ended, Toenail Pizza abandoned his disguise as Richard, revealing himself to the HMS Rosen Crew. Michael and Harry escaped, leading TP on a lengthy chase into the Island's secret Harrybo Company base. After blowing up the control room door, TP had the newly-risen zombies surround Michael and Harry. TP brought the treasure chest (carried in his pocket) towards the Demon Overlord (who ate many magic plums out of the 148 in the chest).

Not wanting the body-making ritual being interrupted by Rosen or his crew, Toenail Pizza took them outside the base. TP made Harry sit down, right before beheading Rosen's crewmate in front of the remaining members. Going back into the base, Toenail Pizza and his zombie forces were attacked by natives of the Island of the Plums. TP was able to cut down any and all natives in his way.

Despite failing to kill Michael Rosen, Toenail Pizza still had the upper hand. TP was able to provide the Demon Overlord with a new body, and he got his hands on the remaining magic plums for the Harrybo Company.


So far, he has broken Michael Rosen (once) and his mum and dad (multiple times) out of prison for a bag of plums and some clitsauce in return, which he has never even gotten. Toenail Pizza was often found roaming around many different prisons in the UK, and it is presumed that this is due to Toenail Pizza's hunt for bags of plums with clitsauce, as Michael Rosen's parents have been to prison several times before as well, and the members of the Rosen Family appear to be the only ones with the kind of plums Toenail Pizza has been hunting for, which is actually all part of the Harrybo Company's plans. As a result of this, Toenail Pizza will do anything he can to get back to prison to commit to attempts to break out the Rosens, hoping for another chance of receiving the powerful plums with clitsauce.

Toenail Pizza

(Presumably) Toenail Pizza, early 90s